Episode 1…From beyond the grave. What follows here is a collection of messages that I sent to my tormentor, Kathryn Mean, over the course of 9 and a half weeks, while she kept me alive and tortured me for her amusement. It is a record of my confusion, of denying my inner knowing in favor of the dream spell illusion that everything I’ve ever wanted – her affection, her empathy, her recognition – was just around the corner, it is a record of my desperate bargaining (once I understood the helplessness of my captivity) and, ultimately, my acceptance that she intended only to bring me to my death. If that were only the blessed end of my torment! How I have prayed for the merciful release that I hoped death would bring me! Alas! Yet, one more treachery!
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